Supporting Your College Student’s Mental Health
Going off to college is a huge transition. There is so much excitement and also, so much concern
With a growing number of young people grappling with significant mental health challenges – and data that has many parents concerned, I asked Dr. Chris Willard to help us understand this landscape, and help prepare both ourselves and our children for the emotional terrain of the transition to college.
This week’s episode of Raising Good Humans Podcast, Dr. Chris Willard, a clinical psychologist at Harvard Medical School and co-author of College Mental Health 101, is so helpful.
Is there a real crisis or are things just feeling crappy?
Amid the headlines and all the noise, it can be hard to assess whether young people are truly at a crisis point, or whether things just feel worse. As someone who reads the data and pays attention, even I cannot always tell.
On this front, Dr. Willard points out that current college students, still part of the “pandemic bubble,” are contending with unique stressors. The isolation experienced during the pandemic, coupled with the pervasive influence of social media, has significantly impacted their ability to self-regulate, seek help, and discern accurate information about mental health.
And while social media has opened up some needed conversations about mental health, it has also proliferated misinformation and fostered a culture of self-diagnosis, blurring the lines between typical sadness and clinical depression.
Add to this the general state of global unrest, and it becomes clear why college campuses are experiencing a palpable increase in distress among students, manifesting in higher rates of anxiety, depression, increased substance use, and self-harm.
It’s also worth noting that young people have their own age working against them! While 50 percent of mental health issues begin by age 14, 75 percent begin by age 24, making the college years a critical period for the onset of such challenges.
It is also a time where young people are seeking and taking more independence (in wonderful and challenging ways), and often facing “real-life” problems without the parental safety net they once had.
That isn’t bad or good, it is just the rubber meeting the road.
Tips for all college bound young people
- Focus on life skills.
Many parents are blindsided when their child struggles in college. That’s why focusing on standard “life skills” is always an important part of a parent’s role. If you haven’t been thinking about this, it isn’t too late. Allow your child to practice decision making, conflict negotiation, problem solving, even tolerating friendship or relationship drama without taking over. Ultimately, the transition from high school to college marks a shift in the parent-child dynamic. Dr. Willard suggests moving from “boss” to “manager” and finally to “consultant.” This means trusting your child to learn and grow, even from mistakes. Offer support, resources, and a safe space for processing challenges, but resist the urge to swoop in and solve every problem.
- Encourage connections.
Encourage your child to actively seek out connections by joining clubs, sports teams, or even just dining with roommates. These seemingly small social engagements can provide the routine and accountability that are crucial for maintaining mental and physical health – and most importantly, they can help your young person meet friends. Relationships in college so often happen around proximity. As Dr. Willard says, “The activity matters much less than the people that you find there.”
- Normalize that transitions are inherently hard.
Emphasize the distinction between “crappiness” (normal struggles like homesickness, relationship woes, or a bad night’s sleep) and a true mental health crisis. Your ability to remain regulated during your child’s distress is paramount; panicking can either escalate anxiety or lead them to hide their struggles. Remember that the bumps and bruises are part of the learning journey, and that most of them are survivable. If you’re truly worried, listen for lasting changes in mood, behavior, or functioning over several weeks, and reach out for help.
- Give advice “for a friend.”
Students, especially those at high-achieving institutions, may initially resist seeking help, or any suggestion that they need support. Viewing stress as a badge of honor, or mindfulness as a waste of time, may make your young person VERY resistant to trying something new. Dr. Willard counters this by reframing self-care as a hack for productivity and creativity – talking about research around breaks or sleep. He also suggests introducing a meditation or mindfulness technique as a way your child can help others. This way, you can remind your young person that they are building a toolbox that one of their friends is bound to need, and get a side door into trying to make suggestions they can use.
- Find adults to talk to.
Getting support exclusively from other 18-24 year olds isn’t always the best idea for many young people. While they may not all be interested in counseling (and because wait lists can be loooong), Dr. Willard stresses the importance of leveraging the diverse network of adults on campus. Resident advisors, cultural center heads, spiritual leaders, and even professors are often deeply invested in student well-being. Encourage your child to connect with at least one such adult during orientation or early in their college journey, even if just to know where resources are located and who to approach.
How to offer proactive support for a child with known mental health struggles
- For parents whose children have already experienced mental health struggles, proactive engagement is key. Dr. Willard advocates for fostering independence early, encouraging teens to take ownership of their appointments, medication reminders, and accommodation requests in high school. This cultivates comfort and self-advocacy before the greater autonomy of college.
- He also points out ways to incorporate a child’s needs during the college selection process. For example, a smaller, rural school might offer a calming environment but limited access to specialized care, while a large university may have extensive on-campus resources that are overwhelming. These conversations, ideally started in junior year of high school, empower students to make informed decisions about environments that best support their well-being.
- Medication management, especially for young people with executive function challenges, presents a unique hurdle. The inconsistent college schedule – which strips young people of many of the routines that medications were centered on – and restrictions around in-state providers for controlled medications demand careful pre-planning. Dr. Willard advises building reminder systems with your child throughout high school, and securing local prescribers well before move-in day. The goal is to empower the student to manage their own care, with parents offering to check in and provide support rather than nagging. This may mean your child still needs some help, but that it is set on their terms and with a clear plan of action.
Wishing everyone at and around this stage congratulations on this huge milestone, and know that I too am both joyfully watching my own little one fly while also contending with the confusing feeling of wondering how it all went by so fast.
If you know anyone who has reached this stage, send them this and a hug 🙂
See more here substack.com
Header image: Business Insider
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