Pint-Sized Revolution: Cheeky AI Users Keep Guinness Stout Prices in Check
We’ve all been there. You walk into a Dublin pub, order a Guinness, and the bartender asks for €7.80. For a moment, you wonder if the glass is made of Waterford Crystal or if the nitrogen bubbles are actually tiny, liquid diamonds.
Most of us just grumble, pay the “tourist tax,” and cry into our foam. But Matt Cortland, an AI engineer with a low tolerance for price gouging and a high aptitude for coding, decided to fight back.
Enter “Rachel”: The Best Drinking Buddy You’ll Never Meet
To bridge the data gap left by the Irish government (who stopped tracking pint prices in 2011, presumably because the numbers became too depressing), Cortland created Rachel.
Rachel isn’t your average “press 1 for billing” robot. She is a conversational AI agent with a friendly Northern Irish accent and enough charm to bypass the busiest of bartenders. Her mission? To call over 3,000 pubs across the Emerald Isle and ask one simple, sacred question: “How much for a pint of the black stuff?”
The results were staggering:
-
The Turing Test, Passed: Most pub staff had no idea they were chatting with a machine.
-
Irish Hospitality: Rachel was so convincing that several bartenders actually offered the digital assistant a free drink. (Sadly, she lacks a digestive system, which is a tragedy for both her and the pub).
-
Data Goldmine: Every price was logged, verified, and uploaded.
The “Guinndex”: Shaming Pubs into Submission
The data from Rachel’s marathon calling sessions birthed Guinndex, a live, crowdsourced website where users can find the cheapest pint in their vicinity. It’s essentially “Google Maps,” but for people who prioritize value-for-money stout over scenic routes.
And it’s working. It turns out that nothing motivates a pub owner to lower prices faster than seeing their establishment publicly ranked as “The Place Where You Need a Second Mortgage for a Round.” At least one pub owner has already slashed prices after seeing their Guinndex standing.
“It’s a blueprint for consumer advocacy,” Cortland says. If we can shame a pub into lowering the price of a Guinness, what else can we do?
What’s Next? Groceries, Meds, and Justice
Cortland isn’t stopping at the tap. He plans to scale this “Rachel” model to monitor the costs of essential goods, such as prescription drugs and groceries. Imagine an army of polite, AI-powered shoppers ensuring that big-box retailers aren’t overcharging you for paracetamol or sliced bread.
In the meantime, the next time you enjoy a reasonably priced Guinness in a quiet corner of Cork or Galway, raise your glass to Rachel. She’s the only AI in the world who’s actively working to make sure your night out doesn’t cost more than a weekend in Ibiza.
About the author: John O’Sullivan is CEO and co-founder (with Dr Tim Ball among 45 scientists) of Principia Scientific International (PSI). He is a seasoned science writer, retired teacher and legal analyst who assisted skeptic climatologist Dr Ball in defeating UN climate expert, Michael ‘hockey stick’ Mann in the multi-million-dollar ‘science trial of the century‘. From 2010 O’Sullivan led the original ‘Slayers’ group of scientists who compiled the book ‘Slaying the Sky Dragon: Death of the Greenhouse Gas Theory’ debunking alarmist lies about carbon dioxide plus their follow-up climate book. His most recent publication, ‘Slaying the Virus and Vaccine Dragon’ broadens PSI’s critiques of mainstream medical group think and junk science.