72 Terrible Things Global Warming Will Apparently Cause

Written by Tom Elliott on . Posted in Current News

 
%ITEMS% Terrible Things Global Warming Will Apparently Cause

As everyone knows global warming will kill us all in as little as 12, 11, 10 years.

But it’s actually way worse than that.

Global warming — caused of course by corporate greed/gas guzzling SUVs/supersized hamburgers/greedy, fat, stupid Americans, etc. — is being predicted to cause all manner of disaster.

Scientists eager to terrify people into taking them seriously have over the last several decades made a series of frightful predictions.

For example, did you know man-made global warming will result in more miscarriages in Bangladesh? It’s true, the BBC said so.

Or that our changing climate — again due almost exclusively to our rampant consumerism and the overwhelming influence of the Big Straw lobby — will result in fewer circumcisions in some African tribes? Scientists say it’s so!

Some of these predictions, however, somehow never came to pass. For example, scientists in 2007 warned that the arctic would be “ice free” by 2013, yet today are trying to figure out why arctic ice is instead increasing.

Man-made climate change was also predicted to kill thousands of Brits — by 2018. Whoops.

To keep track of these scientists’ most bizarre, and most terrifying, doomsday prophesies, we’ve started the news list below. And as you already know, 97 percent of scientists agree you should read it, bookmark it, and share it with it with your friends.

Summary Date Source
‘Making mountaineering riskier’ 11/01/2019 BBC
‘Thermostat gender bias’ 01/14/2019 Forbes
25 percent of bridges to collapse 10/23/2019 New Scientist
Acne 07/03/2009 Indian Journal of Dermatology
AIDS 01/10/2017 The Conversation
Airplane turbulence 03/11/2019 Forbes
All aspects of life in Asia worsening 03/18/2014 The Third Pole
Allergies 06/10/2013 Newsweek
An end to walking in the woods 03/11/2019 CNN
Asthma 07/02/2013 Medscape
Bumpier airplane rides 04/08/2013 HuffPost
Cannibalism 04/01/2008 PBS
Child sex trafficking 04/05/2019 Associated Press
Chocolate shortages 02/14/2012 Los Angeles Times
Coffee that tastes bad 06/21/2017 CNN
Death of 100 million people by 2030 09/25/2012 Reuters
Death of farm animals 04/11/2013 U.S. News & World Report
Death of thousands of Brits — by 2018 02/12/2008 The Guardian
Different colored oceans 02/04/2019 CNN
Disrupting ratio of male-to-female babies 01/23/2019 CNN
Dogs to be ‘bridge food’ for unemployed masses 05/01/2014 The Guardian
Earth looking like Venus 07/05/2017 BBC
Elder death 07/23/2012 Climate Central
End of the Jersey Shore by 2030 03/15/2012 CBS News
Extinction of 1,000,000 species 05/06/2019 The New York Times
Extinction of humanity 08/11/2008 The Guardian
Fewer circumcisions in Africa 11/03/2007 The Age
Fewer wolverines 02/01/2013 The Guardian
Flesh-eating bacteria 07/30/2014 CBS News
Food tasting bad 03/20/2015 Vice
Football sized horses 11/06/2013 Yahoo!
Genocide in Darfur 04/01/2007 The Atlantic
Global catastrophe — by 2020 03/26/2012 Reuters
Global conflicts 10/20/2018 The Guardian
Hurricanes 10/23/2001 Salon
Internet going offline 07/16/2018 University of Oregon
Large accumulations of ‘rock snot’ 05/10/2014 Charleston Gazette-Mail
Less productive workdays 04/23/2014 The Tico Times
Less sex 11/02/2015 Bloomberg
Locust invasion 01/24/2020 Associated Press
Make us look different 09/07/2018 NBC News
Mental health issues 10/09/2018 The Daily Mail
Miscarriages in Bangladesh 11/26/2018 BBC
More kidney stones 07/10/2014 Science Daily
More man-eating tigers 05/17/2019 Newsweek
More murder in Chicago 01/30/2013 The Daily Caller
More prostitution 04/29/2013 The Hill
More rats 05/22/2019 Axios
No more air travel 06/20/2017 The New York Times
No more almonds 06/25/2019 Vox
No more avocados 06/25/2019 Vox
No more beer 10/15/2018 The Hill
No more berries 06/25/2019 Vox
No more coffee 06/25/2019 Vox
No more ice hockey 07/25/2014 Bleacher Report
No more ice in the arctic — by 2013 12/12/2017 BBC
No more ice in the arctic — by 2018 06/23/2008 USA Today
No more Joshua trees 08/31/2019 CBS News
No more rain 07/01/1988 Portsmouth Daily Times
No more redheads 08/21/2014 The Daily Record
No more wine 06/25/2019 Vox
Old people getting sick 12/03/2013 Medscape
Organs in your body not working 07/25/2017 Climate Depot
Police shootings like in Ferguson 09/17/2014 National Review
Return of bus-sized snakes 11/06/2013 Yahoo! News
Rise, expansion of Boko Haram 05/09/2014 The Guardian
Russia to control world’s food supply 03/12/2014 Los Angeles Times
Shrinking salamanders 03/25/2014 Watts Up With That?
Smaller reindeer 12/11/2016 AFP
Stonehenge being topped by moles 05/27/2016 The Daily Mail
Suicide 07/31/2017 The Guardian
Superbugs 05/23/2014 Medscape
Too many homeruns 04/30/2012 Scientific American
Too much Antarctic ice 10/10/2012 Associated Press
UK weather too wet, dry, hot, & cold 03/25/2014 The Guardian
Vaccine spoilage 06/24/2014 Reuters
Webbed feet in humans 01/13/2016 The Daily Mail
List via NewsLists.co
****

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Comments (2)

  • Avatar

    Andy Rowlands

    |

    Great article Tom, your sense of humour mirrors my own when discussing the seemingly-endless list of lunatic predictions alarmists come out with. As Edmund Blackadder said “That is the worst and most contemptible idea since Olaf the Hairy; high chief of all the Vikings, ordered 80,000 battle helmets….with the horns on the inside” 🙂

    Reply

  • Avatar

    tom0mason

    |

    Tom,
    Here a few more for you …
    In 2019 —

    Britain’s traditional meal of fish and chips could disappear from the menu because of climate change, according to new research. Scientists say larger marine species – including cod and …

    from https://www.independent.co.uk/environment/fish-chips-climate-change-cod-haddock-extinct-smaller-research-a8961201.html
    This is a rehash of the older 2017 Guardian journalist unimaginative take on a very speculative antiscience paper (see https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/sep/02/fish-conservation-foreign-species-uk-waters-climate-change )

    This fishy story gets dragged out about every 2-3 years and it still isn’t happening :-).
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    And so too shellfish …
    From https://www.standard.co.uk/news/britains-shellfish-marching-northwards-to-beat-warming-seas-7183388.html . Wednesday 20 December 2006 …

    Britain’s shellfish are marching northwards to colder water after being driven out of their native habitats by warming seas, say scientists.
    A major new study has found some creatures are moving to new homes more than a 100 miles away because of rising sea temperatures. Experts said the discovery reveals how climate change is having a much more dramatic effect than expected on shoreline species.

    No more cockles and mussels alive alive oh! … Poor Molly Malone 🙂
    ~~~~~~~~~
    Oct 25, 2015 and it’s the prickly end to hedgehogs …

    Hedgehogs could be extinct in just 10 years as they battle deadly garden goal nets. The nocturnal creatures are being driven to the brink of extinction by a combination of climate change and …

    Screams the UK’s Daily Mirror at https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/hedgehogs-could-extinct-just-10-6702875

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    2016 Skin Cancer
    Residence and vacationers will, might, could be affected
    From https://climate-adapt.eea.europa.eu/metadata/publications/climate-change-and-skin-cancer-case-study-of-potential-sunsmart-application-in-cornwall
    Another evidence free study with large amount of speculation …

    Climate change and skin cancer: Case study of potential SunSmart application in Cornwall (2016)

    Cornwall (SW England, UK) has a maritime climate and will experience significant changes in weather patterns over the coming decades. It is predicted that by 2050-2080 the local climate will be 2 to 3 °C warmer than now, both in winter and summer, and that there will be longer periods of hot and dry weather in spring and summer. Overall, levels of precipitation will be similar to now, but more concentrated in the winter months. … it is predicted that extreme weather events will become more frequent, including heatwaves, storms, heavy rainfall, and cold spells. …
    Due to the increase in temperatures, it is also likely that individual’s exposure to UV radiation will increase, and therefore the risk of developing skin cancer. The south west of England currently experiences the highest incidence of both malignant and non-malignant melanoma in the UK. Although there are no specific figures for Cornwall, given its draw as a holiday destination, exposure is likely to be high.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    And finally there’s HAIR LOSS!
    From https://www.healththoroughfare.com/news/the-impact-of-climate-change-on-hair-loss-tips-that-help/19973

    Climate change is one of the biggest issues facing the world right now. It’s leading to all kinds of strange weather phenomena around the globe and putting entire ecosystems and populations at great risk. As if we didn’t have enough reasons to combat climate change already, recent studies also suggest that it can trigger hair loss too.

    Or is it that all this climate hysteria causes many to pull their hair out?

    Reply

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